evil twin-the rantings of a mad white woman

So, my new job is teh suck. I thought that it was what I was looking for, but apparently not so much. I’m now debating whether or not to go back to school. With what you ask? Why my good looks and reputation, of course!

The only friend I have at work had an interview today and I plan on begging her to take me with her if she goes. Is that too pathetic?

I feel like I should write a book about my life and see if I can be a big-time author like Katie Price, Paris Hilton or even Jenny McCarthy for that matter. I would have to change a hell of a lot of names to protect the guilty though, so I wonder if it shouldn’t be a novel instead.

Anyhoo, happy birthday wishes for Lisa and Bedbugs. Even though we have never met in person, I feel privileged to call you hag.

So, I’m totally awesome at keeping up my blog, huh? I can’t fucking believe it was Halloween the last time I wrote anything! Well, I assure you I am still alive and kicking. Settling into a new job in advertising (sales) and it’s been pretty hectic around here with the hubs starting a new job too.

My kids are being really bickery with each other right this second and I’m ready send them to the moon. Is child abuse still against the law? Just kidding, for God’s sake.

Tyra’s Next Top Catfood Spokeswhores starts a new cycle in a few weeks. I can hardly wait! Maybe I’ll try my hand at recaps. What do y’all think? I know that would take a commitment on my part to actually update this damn thing, but I’m willing to try if I hear the voice of the people.

So, I started working a part-time job and full-time at the county auditor’s office on a temp basis. Big fun…

Just wanted to let you all know that I’m still alive and that Bunnie didn’t have me killed or anything.

I’ll probably get to write a real update this weekend.

I had the most soul-crunching interview today. I have been in technical sales for nearly a decade and am now pretty much fed up with it and just want to take a little break for now and get a job that is basically 9-5 and I can do my work and leave. Before I got into sales, I had worked in many, many office-y situations, as well as retail (which I actually like, just can’t handle the schedule).

So, you can imagine that is reflected on my resume, correct?

You’d be correct. I like to keep it relevant.

The chick that interviewed me today for what can best be termed as the “office slave” position apparently missed those parts on my resume that she had right in front of her. She kept asking me the most ridiculous questions that should have been obviously answered by my resume and the scores from assessments that I had to take to even get the interview.

And she was seriously peeved with me right off the bat, I have no idea why.  She was very obvious with statements like this gem, “So I see you’ve been in sales for a long time. Probably had an assistant to do most everything for you. Do you know how to use Word or Outlook. We rely heavily on those.”

I’m like, “No shit, Word and Outlook? I don’t know if I’m up to the task.” But I had to of course smile and assure her that yes, I can handle myself with the challenging Microsoft Office Suite.  It got worse from there.

“It can get very busy in here with the phones. We have four lines.” Holy shit! Four lines! I guess you’ll have to show me how the hold button works. Meanwhile, the entire hour I was there, I think the phone rang a total of three times. And when it did, she made a big show of leaping over women, children, and small animals to answer it on the first ring.

She also kept asking about the flexibility of my schedule and then said things like, “Well, really though, since you’ll be HOURLY, we won’t expect you to put in a lot of extra work. I do…because I have a nice SALARY. ” Oh seriously, fuck you with Chris Crocker’s dick. Here’s a napkin, sweetheart, I see a little smug on your chin.

So, I should hear by Monday whether I get the job or not. The suspense is killing me already.

I had a wonderful find at a garage sale today. The cassette (that’s right, cassette) tape of Bobby Brown’s, “Don’t Be Cruel.” It was 30 cents. What a bargain.

 ”Tenderoni” is just about my favorite awesomely bad song ever. I had a boss a couple of years ago that thought he was being funny and would call me “tenderoni” all the time and then call himself “macaroni.” I wish I was kidding. However, even that wasn’t enough to ruin Bobby for me.

That music just takes me back to freshman year of high school. Although, I was more into “hair metal,” I still had great love for Bobby, TLC, Mint Condition, and the like.

Also, if you tell anyone, I will deny it til I die, but I also have the cassette single of “Achy, Breaky Heart.” SHUT UP.

Let’s just say I have diverse musical tastes. I can get the party started, yo.

So, I have decided to look for a new job. I just updated the resume and have an interview scheduled for this afternoon and another for tomorrow afternoon.

It’s been so long since I have had to do this that I am feeling a little tense and overwhelmed. There really was no other choice though, I didn’t have any continuing opportunity to advance any further, the salary freeze certainly isn’t helping and with Christmas coming and a 10-year-old that REALLY needs braces, what the hell can I do?

Why can’t I just get rich (don’t want to be famous, thanks) doing something I love, rather than scrape by doing something I hate? Wah, wah, whine, whine.

I don’t know what to say about ANTM tonight, except that I really discourage Tyra from sharing beverages and/or meds with Paula Abdul.

I figured it was time to get my own blog as the young’uns do. Don’t know how faithful I’ll be at it, but I feel like a cool kid now.